Runt's Rant Page |
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| LETTER FROM THE RUNT: As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic. |
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| Wal-Mart vs. the Government Morons
1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day. 2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute! 3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than 4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + 5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private Employer, and most speak English. 6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World. 7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years. 8. During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy. 9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world. 10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 Years ago. 11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.) 12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart. You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to Fix the economy. This should be read and understood by all Americans - Democrats, Republicans – everyone: To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature, It is now official you are ALL corrupt morons: The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is BROKE. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is BROKE. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is BROKE. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; 1$ trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are BROKE. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is BROKE. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal FAILURE. You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars. AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM?? |
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| "You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Adrian Rogers, 1931 |
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| If you get an email titled "nude photos of Nancy Pelosi," don't open it. It could contain nude photos of Nancy Pelosi. | ||
| What are the chances of getting Nancy Pelosi to go quail hunting with Dick Cheney? | ||
| Dr. Timothy McCarthy while receiving a medical award for creativity, reported his findings to the Fellows of plastic surgery, concluding with this case study: "Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's Speaker of the House. | ||
| They Told Me.... They told me if I voted for McCain, the nation's hope would deteriorate, and sure enough there has been a 20 point drop in the Consumer Confidence They told me if I voted for McCain, the US would become more deeply embroiled in the Middle East, and now, tens of thousands of additional My Democrat Party friends told me if I voted for McCain, that the economy would get worse and sure enough unemployment is over 9.4%. They told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more "crooks" in high ranking positions in Federal government and sure enough, several recent cabinet nominees and Senate appointments revealed resumes of scandal, bribery and tax fraud. They told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more "Pork at the trough" I was also told by my Democrat friends that if I voted for McCain, we would Well, I voted for McCain in November and my Democrat friends were right... all of their predictions have come true! |
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| A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.. 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do. ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No... I rather like it. ''Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant. The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course, ' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from.' ***** |
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| Point in Case.
Windfall Tax on Retirement Income
Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the American people, you're so darn stupid that we're going to keep doing this until we drain every cent from you. That's what the Speaker of the House is saying. Read below............... Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement. This woman is a nut case! You aren't going to believe this. Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits (including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds! Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities! This woman is frightening. She quotes...' We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income, (didn't Marx say something like this?), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest.' (I am not rich, are you?) When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied: 'We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'.' |
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ONE OF THE BEST EXPLANATIONS
From a teacher in the Nashville area The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better She sat down. We want ice cream." A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream. They want ice cream. they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess."
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| LET THE TRUTH BE KNOWN Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter. The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, cotton farmers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the above before simply laughing and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers." Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb. |
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| Alligators and Politicians Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington,DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I cain't unnerstand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the big 'gator, What you been eatin' boy?" "Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator. "Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?" "Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol." "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase. |
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| What the hell were you all smoking back in 1992. You should have re-elected Bush. Things would have been different. Anyone who voted for Clinton in 1992 needs to accept some of the blame for the condition we are in. It's not George W.'s fault that he had to go back, eight years later, and finish his dad's job, it's yours'. The old man had them on the run and you had the unmitigated gull to vote him out of office. I've never had less faith in the American people than I did that day. The Constitution allows for a Federal Government to provide for the common defense and not much else. Try to remember that when you vote for the Commander and Chief of the most powerful country in the World.
The Runt |
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| It seems that we are much better at taking over a country's army than we are at taking over the country. Therefore, I suggest that we bug the hell out of Iraq and let them deal with thier problems. We went in for Saddam, we got him, let's go. If we don't like what happens, we can go back when they are more organized and easier targets.
The Runt |
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| I am a senior citizen. During the
I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my homes. I lost my health insurance. As a matter of fact I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me. I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go. I just thought you would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. Thank you for taking time to read my letter. Sincerely, Saddam Hussein |
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Enron and the White House? This is an interesting bit of information that you don't hear much about in the media --- a.. Enron's chairman did meet with the president and the vice president in the Oval Office.
b.. Enron gave $420,000 to the president's party over three years.
c.. It donated $100,000 to the president's inauguration festivities.
d.. The Enron chairman stayed at the White House 11 times.
e. The corporation had access to the administration at its highest levels and even enlisted the Commerce and State Departments to grease deals for it.
f.. The taxpayer-supported Export-Import Bank subsidized Enron for more than $600 million in just one transaction. Scandalous!!
g.. BUT . . . the president under whom all this happened WASN'T George W.
Bush.
h.. SURPRISE . . . . . . . . . It was Bill Clinton!
Please pass this on so the WHOLE Country will know. The Media Won't! |
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| Old but still has meaning.
A bumper sticker for both parties....
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