Democrats

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban

sunglasses, YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I

tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will

you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at hispeacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,

connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on theInternet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an

exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite

that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young manthen opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an

image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the imagehas been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL

database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds ofcomplex formula. He uploads all of this data via an email on his

Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and

says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a democrat consultant" says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business...

.......Now, give me back my DOG.

Runt's Rant Page
Revised: Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 05:04 PM
Heated Seats I have always loved "Gas Guzzling Cars" for their comfort & safety. I took out a Cadillac Escalade for a test drive the other day just to drive that sucker before they become extinct. The salesman sat in the front seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat. I stated the car must be a Republican car. He asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained that if it were a Democratic car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round

Einstein once said, 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.' It is the poor who habitually elect Democrats--- yet they are still POOR
This is so funny! A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at hispeacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on theInternet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young manthen opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the imagehas been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds ofcomplex formula. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a democrat consultant" says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business... .......Now, give me back my DOG.
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